I'm Matt Dahl and You're Not

Jersey Shore Power Rankings; Week 5

Well Vinny’s back, The Situation is continuing to work his heel image, the bunny costume was back, and Snooki had a UTI.  All in all that makes for a great Jersey Shore episode!  This episode was definitely overtaken by the developing attitude of The Situation, as they are just trying to create a story line for us to follow.  But let’s see how the rankings went down after this weeks episode.

1) Pauly D (Last Week: 1)
Pauly D, along with everyone else, has been worn out by Sitch.  But he handles it better than the rest.  He’s somehow able to keep a straight face whenever Sitch comes to him to apologize, or explain himself, or whatever it is you wanna call it, and man, at the end of this week’s episode, Pauly D couldn’t look any less interested it.  But he’s got his popcorn ready to watch The Situation unravel and shake things up in the house.  I also liked when he was mocking Situation in the car ride with Ronnie and Vinny, good stuff.

2) Ronnie (Last  Week : 2)
I still can’t get over how much Ronnie has improved himself on this show.  I’m a fan these days.  He did make the comment that set the tone for the entire episode, and that was labeling Situation a terrorist.  Just awesome.  But Ronnie really is like the new simple guy on the show, it’s great.  Throws out a line here or there, doesn’t do anything ridiculous, and he doesn’t drag down the show with his petty fights.  

3) Vinny (Last Week: 3)
I sensed Vinny was still out of his element, but then after I continued to see the same shots of him, I was convinced that MTV was trying to grab any footage of Vinny walking around on his own.  They were like trying to play up the anxiety angle… I caught you, MTV.  But it was good to have Vinny back for a full episode, he’s definitely needed on the show.  I expect him to have a strong season from her on out.

4) Sammi (Last Week: 5)
Just like how I kinda mentioned with Ronnie (and have noted many times), she comes off more normal now.  Like you don’t hate hearing her speak all the time… maybe sometimes, but it used to be always!  And she rebounded well after showing crazy drunk bitch Sammi last week and threw down in “Sammi vs. The World Part 17”, but she seemed just fine this week and has been fitting well into the house so far.

5) JWoww (Last Week : 4)
Uh oh, JWoww is not happy!  At least you can’t fault Situation for telling her about Roger, it’s at least a fair thing to say.  But is the monster out of the cage?  We truthfully haven’t seen a good JWoww blow up in over a year now, and one may be brewing.  We shall see what happens.  But for someone who has a relatively quiet season so far, it may be good to mix things up a bit.  And who knows, she may respond well and see a serious jump in the numbers.

6) The Situation (Last Week: 6)
The bad guy!  But for starters, man how drunk was he? Sitch was honestly starting to seem a little bit delirious, it was getting weird.  But I gotta give it to him, he was entertaining.  Him just “creating a party” was vintage Sitch.  However the show was stolen as he was walking around for about 5 minutes with the big tv censor right over his crotch.  Priceless.  But he finally figured out that he was being messed with by the meatballs, and he is ready for war!  Stay tuned as the bad guy continues to develop.

7) Deena (Last Week : 7)
You can probably officially label me a hater of Deena and Snooki.  I really don’t know if I will ever be able to get them out of the bottom 2, but I feel like most would not fight me on that decision.  Deena is still just dumb, but to both of their credit the bunny thing is a little funny.  It’s hard to take either seriously when you hear them speak, and you also wonder how in the world these are two functioning, living, girls.  It’s weird.  Deena may be the most boring character this season, but hey, at least she mad herself some great Jersey Turnpike underwear..

8) Snooki (Last Week: 8)
Let’s seeeeeeee.  UTI, forgot about her dad coming, made her dad do really crappy grocery shopping, said something stupid, was a total hypocrite when discussing how the guys respond to Situation, and was stirring the pot for The Situation.  Yep, sound about right for Snooki… as we would say, vintage Snooki.  She hasn’t had like legit drama lately, but she’s still just a pain and a hassle.  Like Sitch though, it can somewhat reach a point of entertainment.  I just can’t stand her.  She’s like what The Situation was last season in these rankings.  Buried.