Jersey Shore Power Rankings; Season 6 Week 4

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I don’t mean to be redundant, but the show needs to be 2 hours to get anything out of it.  The ending this week was so pathetic and easily the worst five minutes I’ve exposed my TV to in quite some time.  Either way, we had the fall out from Deena’s arrest (which she acted like wasn’t that big of a deal?), the Sitch made his move to be in a relationship, and then…. I don’t think much else happened.  JWoww is just annoying.  But with that, let’s rank week 4.

1) The Situation (Last Week: 1)
Sitch remains at the top.  He made his move to be in a relationship with Paula, the only problem was for some reason he thought asking her via tshirt was a “cool way” to do it.  Alllllllright then.  But his decent move of the night was buying a beast stroller for Snooki, even if he whined like a child to get her to go upstairs to see it.  Bonus though was taking the “I like men” tag on the back of his first shirt pretty well in stride.

2) Pauly D (Last Week: 2)
Nice and steady!  A pretty similar episode for Pauly D to what else we’ve seen so far this season.  He was just like the good side kick to the entire show.  While he has had a quiet season his presence has definitely benefited the show, because you know you can always laugh at Pauly D.

3) Vinny (Last Week: 6)
Vinny returns to the top half of the show mainly because had a solid funny moment in making fun of Sitch and Paula basically about how dumb they are.  I’ll give him credit for not having a joke fall completely flat —- he does that from time to time.  Vinny has still developed too big of an ego for his own good though.

4) Ronnie (Last Week: 3)
Ronnie loses because he said drunk tank way too many times and also was far too familiar with what a drunk tank actually is.  And it’s probably not a good thing that he so simply turned to drinking his ass off after one of his roommates just got arrested for, well, drinking her ass off.  I also don’t think “when in seaside, keep drinking” will be a quote that catches on.  He’s still had a fairly good season, so he has that going for him.

5) Snooki (Last Week: 4)
I will still give Snooki credit for being fairly responsible this season, but she lost me with the scooters.  I mean really? REALLY?!?  That was just so pathetic I wanted to change the channel.  She was also a little too tough with Situation about the gift, but I guess it’s hard to blame her.

6) Sammi (Last Week: 6)
Eh.  It was pretty weak how emotional she was getting over Deena.  I mean, come on, it’s Deena, that was gonna happen at some point, at least it’s out of the way now.  She fits the mold perfectly of just being there, though.  Sammi may not have many more story lines as the show goes on until it’s end.

Tie-8) JWoww (Last Week: 7)
I am just going to be mean and put her at a tie for 8th because she is just so freakin annoying.  She also has one of the ugliest crying faces ever, as we saw towards the end of the episode.  But she was obviously being over dramatic about the foot because she was mostly fine, and I can’t believe she bought a scooter.  BURIED!  I have no sympathy for her relationship problems.  She is a mess elsewhere.

Tie-8) Deena (Last Week: 8)
I’ll still consider her last.  She’s so buried we may never see her emerge again.  The arrest, defending it, just being herself.  It’s all a loss for Deena.  And from the looks of the preview, it doesn’t look like it will get any better, just a lot worse.  FINISHED!

Jersey Shore Power Rankings; Season 6 Week 3

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We returned to just one hour of Jersey Shore last night, and I gotta say, it made the episode a little bit ho-hum.  I think we’d be better off just getting 7 two hour episodes as opposed to 14 one hour episodes… more happens.  Either way, we had the fall out from the “fight” at Bamboo as well as the arrest of Deena.  The Situation also continued his rise to have a great year.  But fights, booze and bitches… that made up last night’s Jersey Shore.  Let’s get to the rankings!
1) The Situation (Last Week: 1)
Still no question here with Sitch holding the top spot.  He kept his upward trend and continued his rise in sobriety.  Sure, saying he’s “cut up like Rambo” could make you roll your eyes, but he’s not the old Sitch, so you just laugh it off.  While following his relationship with Paula becoming official seems way too high school soap opera like to be following too much, it shows the turn in his attitude more so.  Positive episode for Sitch, still the top dog in the shore house this summer.
2) Pauly D (Last Week: 2)
Pauly D has just sorta been there this season.  That’s not a bad thing, but he hasn’t really had memorable moments.  He’s good for plenty, but he’s not getting involved with nonsense.  He is the oldest in the house (I think 31 or 32) and you can understand him having a low key year.  He’s still Pauly D tho, so still deserving of the top 2 unless he really screws up.
3) Ronnie (Last Week: 4)
Amazing that there was a fight and an arrest and Ronnie wasn’t involved in either of them!  We were close to a Ron and Sam fight but thankfully it didn’t explode and make us hate this episode even more.  The only down side to Ronnie in this episode I would say was his ridiculous blue “fashion” glasses he wore when going out in the morning with Sam.
4) Snooki (Last Week: 3)
I feel like we didn’t see Snooki for a while.  But she made her first trip to Karma, and she made her own fun out of it… good for her. Pregnant Snooki continues to try acting more and more like a future mom, so that’s a plus.  Let’s put it this way, she hasn’t done anything to make us hate her this season.  We are simply on a slow burn for her water to break.

5) Sammi (Last Week: 5)
She’s the hardest one to write for, maybe she’s the most boring?  Either way, she didn’t have a bad episode.  I get that she sometimes comes across annoying, but I can’t really say she had a down note for this week.  Truthfully the top 6 this week didn’t do anything necessarily wrong at all.  Sammi just not representing my high school well and is likely the most boring cast member on the show.
6) Vinny (Last Week: 6)
I think Vinny is just becoming more annoying this season, maybe he was already headed that way.  He seems to think he’s really funny, but I don’t think he comes across that funny too often.  His Jenni impression was a miss to be honest, and just made him seem stupid.  I’m surprised MTV actually used the footage.  Vinny needs a comeback tho, for sure.
7) JWoww (Last Week: 7)
The bitch is back.  It’s gonna be like Miami all over again.  I get that she shouldn’t have been hit by Roger, but man, Jenni can really wear you down by just listening to her.  She mopes, she sulks, she gets wasted, and just doesn’t shut up.  Simply enough is enough with her, maybe she misses Snooki.
8) Deena (Last Week: 8)
Wow.  Just wow.  She was whatever throughout this episode until the end, and we all know it’s about how you finish.  Well Deena finished in complete disaster.  Her “meatball” day is pathetic, and we should absolutely judge how she was acting.  Capping it all off with dancing in the street just made you think “I really hope one of these cars just hit her”.  Well that wasn’t the case, but she did get arrested.  Classic lol Deena.

Jersey Shore Power Rankings; Season 6 Week 2

Okay so something different this time… a guest post!! Enjoy the week 2 Power Rankings brought to you by faithful reader Matt Ciociola (with My take added to each roommate).  Enjoy!

Alright so we’re into the second week of the grand finale with the guidos and guidettes. This week us Jersey Shore ites were treated to another two hour episode and it was a classic. The only thumbs down I would give is they pulled the classic “we’ll show previews of a fight all episode and then show a whole 3 seconds of it at the end so you have to wait until next week now”. Other than that….onto the rankings.

Early My take: Are you kidding me with that pitiful fight scene for the “biggest fight in Seaside ever”!?!?!  ANGRY ITALICS!!!!

1) The Situation (Last Week: 1)
No hell is not freezing over, although it is 2012. But the Sitch finds himself at the top of the rankings again for a few reasons. One, the girls are being drug down by Deena and JWoww (more on that later), two he has not started drama yet, and 3) he laughed at himself when they made him sing “Rehab” on Kareoke and if we cant laugh at ourselves, you know the rest. But in this writer’s mind, a person has to do something to lose their ranking and the #2 has to do something to put themselves ahead and neither happened this week.

My take: Sitch definitely deserved spot 1 again.  He kept his good momentum going, even with some issues at work by going back to his typical “dip”.  He also gets some credit for not stirring the pot over Snooki not wanting to be his friend.  We’ll see if this holds true.

2) Pauly D (Last Week: 2)
Pauly had his usual week with some funny one liners and he played it off well with that nutcase on the boardwalk who was uh showing all of her stuff lets say. Pauly remains both at #2 and “On Snooki’s PORCH”.

My take: Pauly D will simply ride off into the sunset this season.  I expect no drama, no issues… nothing.  He just had a girl flash him.  Other than that, he just laughed his way through the awkwardness and whatever else came his way.

3) Snooki (Previous Ranking 7)
This may be Snickers highest all time rating but I give her props for doing the responsible thing and moving into her own home. Her and Gianni’s relationship seems almost (I said almost!) normal.

My take: Snooki seems like she may actually be human.  What?!  Well I agree, good for her for moving out and getting the proper rest.  Down notes on her were being a bit of a bitch to Situation, but I guess it’s understandable considering things.  But she improved in a good way overall this week,

4) Ronnie (Last Week: 4)
Ronnie falls into the Pauly D category with he had a good but somewhat low key episode. I think these rankings are mostly becoming a contest between who can screw up the least. After his meltdown in episode 1 Ronnie had a nice bounce back and thus holds onto his rating.

My take: Hey there was a fight and Ronnie wasn’t throwing fists to the extreme! But Ronnie was fairly good in this episode.  It is true though, this is just to see who screws up the least.

5) Sammi (Last Week: 5)
She had a quiet episode.  I suppose she earns the top of the bottom half, I mean she didn’t get in a fight with Ron, so that’s a win in itself.  She has to go out in some huge blow out with Ron and then throw a left hook at JWoww for her character to do justice on her exit from the Shore. 

My take: See above. 

6) Vinny (Last Week: 3)
Vinny really grinded my gears this episode. First, what exactly was he saying in the shorehouse when he had a gf/didn’t have a gf/was single/was celebate…am I the only one who didn’t follow that?? Second, he was a real hard ass with Gionni. I am not saying they have to be boys but then he shouldn’t be over there in the first place….dont rock the boat Vin.

My take: Did he just say “grinded my gears”?  Either way, Vinny did have a certain d-bag attitude surrounding him.  I don’t expect a long term stay this low, but not a good episode for him.

7) JWow (Last Week: 6)
Was this week’s episode a preview of the old JWow coming back? I am sorry but she was WAY out of line calling the Sitch out for him talking about his whole rehab thing….ya know what Jwoww? Shut it! Preach on Brother Situation! Second, she needs to stop getting in the middle of large dudes about to fight…Roger was wrong to push her out of the way but Jwow get one of your fellow meatheads on the case.

My take: She sucks, like the old days.  The whole surprise party for Roger was awkward, can’t fault her tho.  But still, she pokes the bull whenever she can… with everyone and everything.

8) Deena (Last Week: 8)
Wow….just wow. I didn’t like Deena from the start and she’s just trainwreck Penn Central right now. The ball thing, more day drinking, more crying, just Deena OD. It is of my esteemed half Italian, Jersey Shore resident (during the summer),that Deena will not make it out of the cellar this season.

My take: lol, Deena.  Meatball Day is like the worst sounding day ever, and we will soon see Meatball Day again with it ending in arrest.  Awesome.  Deena is still a complete freakin mess and it’s way too much to process at times.

Jersey Shore Power Rankings; Season 6 Week 1

They’re baaaaaaaaack.  Sure, I completely checked out as last season carried on.  The antics ofJerseyShorehad grown tiresome.  Well now, as we enter the final season EVER of the reality show that was just so obnoxious we all had to watch, you will be provided with the final round of Jersey Shore Power Rankings.  This may be bigger than the show itself.

The gang returned to the Seaside Shore House for one final go of it and change was in the air.  The Situation was sober and clean, Snooki was pregnant, Deena lost weight, Ron and Sammi….well I guess there was nothing different about that.  But we were treated to two full hours ofJerseyShore, so let’s not hold you up anymore, here are the first set of rankings for the final season ofJerseyShore.

1) The Situation (Preseason Rank: 8)
No, this is not a mistake.  The Situation maybe had his greatest block ever inJerseyShore history, and earned himself the top slot in Week 1.  Sitch showed up clean, sober, positive, and really tried to make up for his mistakes.  It may have been the most real we’ve ever seen him.  Nice efforts were made with making dinner, apologizing to the group a couple times, and doing a good job of keeping straight when out at Karma.  He also earned some points for actually understanding why no one would help him with dinner.  I’m not sure if he’s “pissing excellence” as he said, but this was his ultimate face turn on the show.  This was a well earned No. 1 rank for Sitch after week 1.

2) Pauly D (Preseason Rank: 1)
Pauly of course had himself a good episode – when doesn’t he?  But while he was his usual steady self, it’s tough to edge The Situation this week.  On the note of Situation though, it seemed as if Pauly was the most welcoming of Situation’s change after rehab.  Aside from that, he was his typical upbeat self, continuing to look for some enjoyment and keeping up with the jokes.  Pauly D will likely always be a top 2 member for the power rankings.

3) Vinny (Preseason Rank: 2)
Alright so maybe two down notes on Vinny; why is he acting jealous over Jionni and does it seem like he’s trying to be the one who stirs the pot this year?  Tough to tell, but maybe he plays that role well.  I think Vinny had a good episode.  We’ll see if any Snooki drama pops up for him… probably at some point.  Maybe the biggest note on Vinny is he seemed to have best drunk night out of all of them in this episode, so he can get positive points for that.  For some reason he made Deena cry, it still doesn’t make sense 12 hours later.

4) Ronnie (Preseason Rank: 4)
So a clean sweep of the guys up front 1 through 4.  Everyone has to agree it deserved, right?  Sure, Ronnie may have pulled a classic Ronnie and blacked out, but at this point who even gets mad at him when he fights with Sam?  Ok, maybe some people, but I think Sam looked like the annoying one in that little spat they had.  Main Ronnie notes though are no shock to blacking out, and then while at first he wasn’t welcoming of Sitch, he seemed to come around.  I also got a kick out of him sliding down the freakin steps.

5) Sammi (Preseason Rank: 5)
Eh.  She wasn’t great, but I guess she is the bottom half.  She’s still annoying, and MY GOD a really bratty drunk.  It was like the annoying freshman who’s new to drinking complaining about being hungry while wasted.  Sorry, not complaining, whining.  But it was no surprise her and Ron did have a fight on the first night out and half way through the first episode.  We’ll see how their last year goes.  I have a feeling we won’t miss them.  An OK episode for Sammi, but nothing great by any means.

6) JWoww (Preseason Rank: 4)
I feel like the bitch JWoww is back, and when I say bitch JWoww I mean the JWoww we say is in the first couple seasons, because we all know she was always a bitch.  She just seemed to have a certain attitude around her.  And then for some reason, after all these years, she still seems like she can’t handle drinking too well.  Super drunk and then super hung over.  By now you’d think she’d have the hang of it.

7) Snooki (Preseason Rank: 7)
Pregnant Snooki, just seems weird.  I’ll start by saying good for her for realizing someone three months away from being a mother shouldn’t be in a party house.  But she’s still Snooki, so you know there are issues that come up.  For starters, she needs to calm down with that ridiculous black and pink trunk.  Then I was just baffled with the way she “tells time”.  I shouldn’t say baffled, why would that be surprising to anyone?  It’ll be a weird season with her not being herself, but she’ll still annoy us in some way.  I just can’t give her much credit in this episode, she was also just trying to act like a pain at times.

8) Deena (Preseason Rank: 6)
For a moment I really thought Deena would have a decent episode, because she fooled us into thinking she had her shit together, but that all unraveled around the 30 minute mark.  So the basic rundown on Deena; she fell out of the hammock, she doesn’t know what integrity means, she is a 24 year old in total high school love mode and can’t handle TWO DAYS being away from her boyfriend, she kept crying, she freaked out when she was drunk over Vinny asking her boyfriend, who sells furniture, about furniture, and then she kept crying.  Her season doesn’t look like it’ll get better, as she apparently gets arrested.  The new Snooki!

Jersey Shore Power Rankings; Week 6

I’m just gonna say it; the show has gotten weak.  Not to be negative before I even get to the rankings, but man this just seemed and felt like a filler episode, and it really was not that good.  Sure, we had a drunk Snooki, The Situation continuing whatever transition he’s going for, a Pauly D stalker, and more… but it wasn’t working so well.  Maybe, just maybe, Jersey Shore won’t be riding off into the sunset better than ever this season.  But anyway, we still got a season to cover so here some rankings.

1) Pauly D (Last Week: 1)
He has a stalker again!  Although this one felt like it coulda been set up by MTV… it was almost too perfect, she was walking around in the Pauly D hat wearing a CABS ARE HERE t-shirt.  Either way, it was still amusing to see Pauly deal with his second seaside stalker.  Also in this episode he had the unfortunate dealing with the two meatballs at work, but kept up with his thing.  Pauly’s had a good year so far.

2) Vinny (Last  Week : 3)
We gotta give props to Vinny for trying to cross over a lesbian… I mean it IS the impossible.  He did fail, but still committed to the effort, and took the let down like a trooper.  But still, not something you see everyday, and if it happened then he would definitely be ranked 1 this week.  Vinny though seemed to have more of his usual flow throughout this episode, and seemed like it was back to normal.  It was good to see him and Pauly D rolling on the boardwalk together, they keep their distance from the mess sometimes. 

3) Ronnie (Last Week: 2)
Was he around much this week?  I don’t remember much coming from him… maybe a laugh or two.  But it was a pretty quiet episode from Ronnie, and I really don’t have much to add here.

4) Sammi (Last Week: 4)
Same goes for her.  Not much from the couple this week.  I really can’t think of a positive or negative point for Sammi… anyone else got something out there? I feel like probably not, but I’ll keep her ranked at 4.

5) JWoww (Last Week : 5)
JWoww might have been the only real developing story on this episode, as she was fighting with big dude Roger, and she was NOT happy.  JWoww is much more sensitive emotional than I thought… I really just always pegged her for an emotional bitch, but she was actually seeming a bit depressed.  But I want a blowout, so bring it on!

6) Deena (Last Week: 7)
I’ve been ripping her, and was ready to for her just peacing out of work and basically being a total brat about it - but she did what I didn’t think she would and that was apologize, and seem to actually care that she did piss off the boss… maybe too late for that though.  But her biggest points of the night goes to her being a team player and being the wing woman for Vinny as he was trying to convert a lesbian for the night.  Good job by Deena as she helped herself get out of being buried for at least one week.

7) The Situation (Last Week : 6)
He’s still plotting things out, and it’s hilarious that his brother is dating Deena’s system… imagine THAT family get together.  But he’s just playing his game of total nonsense and constant back and forth.  He was all about “keeping his enemies closer” while hanging out with Snooki and Deena, and overall didn’t do anything this week.  The drop down comes from him being such a sap when he wakes up alone in the house.  Poor Situation?  No, 7th Ranked Situation.

8) Snooki (Last Week: 8)
I should just write “she sucks” and end it.  Snooki is definitely the least likable this season (and I know, they’re all pretty unlikable), as she has just been a pain to watch.  She was pitifully drunk and just lost, and while I know we have seen that plenty of times, you still have to roll your eyes at this one.  And then while Deena was just as much at fault as Snooki, Snooki definitely didn’t care at all about skipping out on work and causing a problem.  The worst.

Jersey Shore Power Rankings; Week 5

Well Vinny’s back, The Situation is continuing to work his heel image, the bunny costume was back, and Snooki had a UTI.  All in all that makes for a great Jersey Shore episode!  This episode was definitely overtaken by the developing attitude of The Situation, as they are just trying to create a story line for us to follow.  But let’s see how the rankings went down after this weeks episode.

1) Pauly D (Last Week: 1)
Pauly D, along with everyone else, has been worn out by Sitch.  But he handles it better than the rest.  He’s somehow able to keep a straight face whenever Sitch comes to him to apologize, or explain himself, or whatever it is you wanna call it, and man, at the end of this week’s episode, Pauly D couldn’t look any less interested it.  But he’s got his popcorn ready to watch The Situation unravel and shake things up in the house.  I also liked when he was mocking Situation in the car ride with Ronnie and Vinny, good stuff.

2) Ronnie (Last  Week : 2)
I still can’t get over how much Ronnie has improved himself on this show.  I’m a fan these days.  He did make the comment that set the tone for the entire episode, and that was labeling Situation a terrorist.  Just awesome.  But Ronnie really is like the new simple guy on the show, it’s great.  Throws out a line here or there, doesn’t do anything ridiculous, and he doesn’t drag down the show with his petty fights.  

3) Vinny (Last Week: 3)
I sensed Vinny was still out of his element, but then after I continued to see the same shots of him, I was convinced that MTV was trying to grab any footage of Vinny walking around on his own.  They were like trying to play up the anxiety angle… I caught you, MTV.  But it was good to have Vinny back for a full episode, he’s definitely needed on the show.  I expect him to have a strong season from her on out.

4) Sammi (Last Week: 5)
Just like how I kinda mentioned with Ronnie (and have noted many times), she comes off more normal now.  Like you don’t hate hearing her speak all the time… maybe sometimes, but it used to be always!  And she rebounded well after showing crazy drunk bitch Sammi last week and threw down in “Sammi vs. The World Part 17”, but she seemed just fine this week and has been fitting well into the house so far.

5) JWoww (Last Week : 4)
Uh oh, JWoww is not happy!  At least you can’t fault Situation for telling her about Roger, it’s at least a fair thing to say.  But is the monster out of the cage?  We truthfully haven’t seen a good JWoww blow up in over a year now, and one may be brewing.  We shall see what happens.  But for someone who has a relatively quiet season so far, it may be good to mix things up a bit.  And who knows, she may respond well and see a serious jump in the numbers.

6) The Situation (Last Week: 6)
The bad guy!  But for starters, man how drunk was he? Sitch was honestly starting to seem a little bit delirious, it was getting weird.  But I gotta give it to him, he was entertaining.  Him just “creating a party” was vintage Sitch.  However the show was stolen as he was walking around for about 5 minutes with the big tv censor right over his crotch.  Priceless.  But he finally figured out that he was being messed with by the meatballs, and he is ready for war!  Stay tuned as the bad guy continues to develop.

7) Deena (Last Week : 7)
You can probably officially label me a hater of Deena and Snooki.  I really don’t know if I will ever be able to get them out of the bottom 2, but I feel like most would not fight me on that decision.  Deena is still just dumb, but to both of their credit the bunny thing is a little funny.  It’s hard to take either seriously when you hear them speak, and you also wonder how in the world these are two functioning, living, girls.  It’s weird.  Deena may be the most boring character this season, but hey, at least she mad herself some great Jersey Turnpike underwear..

8) Snooki (Last Week: 8)
Let’s seeeeeeee.  UTI, forgot about her dad coming, made her dad do really crappy grocery shopping, said something stupid, was a total hypocrite when discussing how the guys respond to Situation, and was stirring the pot for The Situation.  Yep, sound about right for Snooki… as we would say, vintage Snooki.  She hasn’t had like legit drama lately, but she’s still just a pain and a hassle.  Like Sitch though, it can somewhat reach a point of entertainment.  I just can’t stand her.  She’s like what The Situation was last season in these rankings.  Buried.

Jersey Shore Power Rankings; Week 4

Still in a bit of a funk without Vinny.  And now the twist to the episode was the proposal of new workers for the Shore Store and roommates in the house.  You can guess how that one went over.  But still plenty of fun to be had.  We had a surprise party for Pauly D and Sitch, Ronnie get all emotional, another girl fight finally come back to the show, and a whole lot more.  Your typical Seaside antics came last night, let’s rank em! 

1) Pauly D (Last Week: 1)
Pauly was still off, even though it didn’t slow down his game.  But he clearly wasn’t sure what to do with himself when not having Vinny to kick around with.  It’s still always funny listening to Pauly talk, though, as he typically has some line that you really just have to laugh at.  Good for him.  But last night was all about the ending, and he was getting his boy back!  Pauly D wasn’t having it anymore and rallied up the troops for Free Vinny and lead them to SI.  Tough job, I know.

2) Ronnie (Last  Week : 2)
Ronnie was about to cry, and it wasn’t over Sam!!  Wow, what a face turn.  Okay you got me, he had his face turn a long time ago.  I was a bit surprised at how much Vinny’s departure hit Ronnie, but he was legitimately struggling with it.  I mean, it didn’t help he was drunk, and we know he has Roid Rage mood swings, so it wasn’t that much of a surprise.  The biggest step though for Ronnie was that he didn’t totally snap when Sam got into a fight, I think that’s a big improvement for him.

3) Vinny (Last Week: 4)
He’s coming baaaaaaaaaccckkkk.  I don’t know though, anyone else thing him leaving was a bit set up?  It kinda feels it.  I mean he wasn’t gone THAT long.  His mom looked sad to see him go, again.  But Vinny is new and improved with a tattoo right across his chest - ouch.  It’ll be good to have him back in the mix, so Vinny, welcome back, an welcome back to No. 3.

4) JWoww (Last Week: 5)
Sure, she was a bit of a bitch when it came to the help wanted sign, but it was at least a bit amusing.  JWoww really hasn’t drawn negative attention to herself, so that’s a plus.  I still don’t see a ton from her this season, but maybe that’s a good thing?  Either way I think she’s been just a little more than OK for season 5 so far and without coming across like the worst person in the world, she does just fine. 

5) Sammi (Last Week : 3)
Fight, fight, fight!! Man it was only a matter of time before Sammi got into another brawl, I knew it had to come.  And this week it did.  Legit on the floor brawling with someone who had the audacity to pull her weave!! (What?)  And she let it fly.  Lunatic.  She gets negative points though for so obnoxiously yelling out it was her against the world.  Just be quiet, how about that.

6) The Situation (Last Week: 7)
Well, he brought home a stripper.  Yeah, you’re right, that could be a good thing and a bad thing, not sure which.  The funniest part Sitch had was when he spread his Axe (or whatever body spray) down his shorts.  Trying to stay fresh I see.  I was tired of the mopey Sitch we had to deal with, at least he got his surprise party and finally got over it all.  He’s at 6, maybe he climb his way out soon.

7) Deena (Last Week : 6)
Moron.  Just a moron.  Do I have to type more?  Ugh, I guess.  Why couldn’t she figure out the alarm clock?  Better yet, why does it bother me?  I don’t know, I just don’t know.  I also find it lame that she complains about new roommates when one year ago SHE was the new roommate.  Deena may be the worst on the show but at least isn’t buried alive right now like No. 8 is.

8) Snooki (Last Week: 8)
This goes for Deena too, but come onnnnn with the freakin bunny costume, and their acts in the bunny costume.  Those meatballs, always trouble.  Snooki tho is flakey this season.  Her and Jionni almost takes her out of the equation for some episodes.  I mean, good for Jionni for finding ways to control her, but we don’t get our Snooki drama which we know drives the show.  She still sucks and is still 8.  Sorry all you Snooki-holics.

Jersey Shore Power Rankings; Week 3

Was it just me or did it seem like the show was missing some charisma last night?  Without Vinny the house did seem a bit empty, obviously, and it’s hard to figure how things will improve.  The return of the bad guy Situation may have been last night, but I’m sure much worse can come.  In the end though last night was a Vinny-less version of Jersey Shore, and you have to wonder if this was the first sign of it being the end for the show. 

1) Pauly D (Last Week: 1)
Poor Pauly D.  It was his birthday, he got a solid day out of it, but he’s still reeling a bit.  I was a bit surprised to hear him say he was 31, doesn’t seem like it, but I guess good for him.  Either way, he had his family come down, he was pumped to have his barber there so he could get the Pauly D haircut fixed up, and made the best of his time without Vinny, and even did some things in his honor.  He was stuck with one weird moment of the episode, as that one girl who just wanted Sitch was realllllly messing with him, and Pauly wasn’t having any of it.  And yeah, I’m sure he felt pretty weird as Sitch moped about a birthday cake to Pauly.

2) Ronnie (Last  Week : 3)
Yeah Ronnie is hurting a bit from Vinny leaving, but he has now officially slid into No. 2 of these rankings and the house.  He’s second in command to Pauly D now and to be honest, he’s doing a decent job at handling it.  There’s no more roid rage hate from Ronnie… eh, I’m sure it’ll come back in some fight… but for the most part he’s been somewhat humorous and seems to be having a good time.  Ronnie definitely deserves a boost in the rankings with all that has gone one.

3) Sammi (Last Week: 4)
You know if she read these rankings, she should have good showmanship and leave the show.  This is the highest ranking ever for the “sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet” and who know what could come next.  But props to Sammi for decorating the Pauly D cake, it was a nice touch.  And then I even gotta give her props for not being a total bitch and actually liking Sitch’s girl Paula (the old Sammi would have hated her to death).  A very early favorite for Comeback Player of the Year.

4) Vinny (Last Week: 2)
Vinny is great, but unfortunately when you remain inactive for a week, you lose some ground.  The tough time for the kid from Staten Island lead him right back home, and hopefully for his better.  But he was MIA at the Shore and other than a phone call and just bumming out his roommates, there was nothing here for Vinny.  I know it’s not the end of Vinny though, and am certain he will make a triumphant return and challenge for No. 1 as the year goes on. 

5) JWoww (Last Week : 5)
At least she knows she’s the mom of Snooki and Deena, but she does put it on herself, so we won’t feel sorry for her when she bitches about it.  But JWoww is still drifting below the radar (in this instance the radar is how bad you get), so she’s been OK.  But still, it’s been a quiet season for her I think.  She had a weird exchange with The Situation, and if anything, she took it like too personal.  She will definitely be a catalyst in the hat on Sitch bandwagon, but we’ll see how much is merited.  Overall, not much to report on JWoww.

 6) Deena (Last Week: 7)
I can’t believe this girl is getting a bump up in the rankings, but it is what it is.  She really has gotten dumber, right?  It’s not like Snooki where it’s just awful to hear what she says… well, actually it kinda is, but really you just wonder how she is the way that she is.  Or how she’s become.  Loud, obnoxious… unfortunately, THAT is Jersey, and the world, these days.  But man, drunk Deena sure was emotional when she found out that Vinny left.  Really though, when thinking about Deena in this episode, let’s not forget how she thought they had to call a pimp to get a stripper.  Good one.

7) The Situation (Last Week : 6)
Is the bad guy back?  Well we know for one thing, he isn’t quite around right now.  Yes, Sitch did “the dip” to end last night’s episode, but we know he will be back, and he’ll probably come back ready to cause some trouble.  He was in total baby mode as he went to sleep while out to dinner with Pauly’s family.  And the it was a little bit pathetic how upset he was that he didn’t have a cake, because it was Pauly’s family that got him the cake.  I understand the cake from the roommates, a bit of a burn.  But he has burnt his own bridges, so he couldn’t be shocked.  We will see what sort of vengeance The Situation attempts when he comes back from his “dip”.

8) Snooki (Last Week: 8)
Who else wanted her to get arrested again for public intoxication?  I definitely did.  And you know what, the episode would have been better if she did.  But Snooki had a day long drunk outing, and it was vintage Snooki.  I was surprised she wasn’t in tears about Vinny leaving, but she did wonder who she would be able to flirt with at this point.  But Snooki is just Snooki, and that’s not a positive at this point.  It was probably her best episode so far this season, but she’s in a bit of a hole I think.  More improvements are definitely needed for this one, all 98 pounds of her.

Jersey Shore Power Rankings: Week 2

Possibly the realest and saddest episode we have seen yet on this show.  We continued to follow the downward spiral of Vinny and watched it come to a very sad ending, as he departed from the Shore house, and his bro, Pauly D.  That definitely took up the majority of the episode, but it was something new outside of the drunken insanity we are so used to seeing, and you saw two best friends basically have to separate.  Anxious or not, we still have power rankings for ya, so let’s get right to it.  

1) Pauly D (Last Week: 1)
Pauly had a few interesting moments in this episode.  For starters, he burned his face, as the tanning overload did not payoff, at least for the one day.  He seemed at a loss.  And then to make matters worse, the chick stole his chain!!!!  Man oh man, what luck he was having.  Never again the smush room.  But the worse, and maybe the best showing for him, was what was happening to Vinny.  Pauly D tried to be there, and was there for him, and did what he could.  He did the right thing letting him go, and was being real about how it was an emotional situation.  How could you not feel for the guy?!  Especially when he said to Vinny, “stay for me”.  So sad.  No guy every wants his boy to leave, and it happened to Pauly D.

2) Vinny (Last Week: 3)
It’s a bummer.  Vinny fresh off of being voted No. 1 in the Italy power rankings has now left the Shore.  His anxiety and emotions defeated him in the return from Italy, and not even Karama could help his case.  Well we knew Vinny was going to leave, but we didn’t know why exactly, so all the writing was on the walls.  But it was tough to watch him go.  It was the ultimate “things just got real” moment for this show, and it will not be the same without him.  You could tell it was tough for him to leave Pauly D, but he knew he had to step back for at least a little.  We will see what’s next for Staten Island pride, but it was too bad to watch him go. 

3) Ronnie (Last  Week : 2)
I still gotta give a ton of props to Ronnie.  He is doing things the old Ronnie would not have done.  He really did try to reach out for Vinny, and was also just at a loss for it all.  But he did his best, and put in an effort the old Ronnie never would have even thought about.  So good for him.  He definitely takes on a bigger role now that Vinny is gone.

4) Sammi (Last Week: 5)
She is moving up!  The rise continues for Sammi and you really can’t be surprised.  Do I dare say she is normal these days?  Alright maybe we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves, but she’s doing a good job.  Was okay about getting to work again, and was sensible during the Vinny situation on his behalf.  And still no Ron and Sam fights taking away all the attention so she does get some credit there as well.

5) JWoww (Last Week : 4)
Eh is all I can really say.  She wasn’t around much, I felt.  She did do a good job just denying any possibility of her being the one to watch after Snooki, so good for her, and she also did a good job of reminding Snooki to not do what cause the last horrrrrrible episode with Jionni while in Italy.  So that worked out well for JWoww’s part.  But overall I thought she was quiet in this one, which is easy when the story really is about one guy.

6) The Situation (Last Week : 6)
This guyyy.  I’m shocked that he hasn’t been a total douche just yet, but he’s still doing his Sitch like things.  But they’re at least somewhat amusing as opposed to incredibly awful to watch.  It was pretty funny that he decided to STILL bring in the sandwich to Jionni even when he knew the problem was Snooki being pissed at Sitch.  Well played, Situation, well played.  But I thought him comparing his quest for picking up girls at the club to Joe Montana going for a game-winning touchdown was insane.  At least we can laugh at the Sitch this time around.

7) Deena (Last Week: 7)
She is still annoying.  One thing I will say though is that I feel like we almost got through half the episode before she showed up, and we did not miss her.  Her whole explanation of her return to Karma was painful to listen to. How dare MTV air that footage!  Oh, Jersey Turnpike, you can really just be out of your mind sometimes.  She tried to throw a zinger out there by saying she wasn’t gonna drink — yeah right.

8) Snooki (Last Week: 8)
We almost had ‘WHERE’S MY BOYFRIENDDDDDDDD’ part 2.  Thank God we did not!  But man you’d think she would learn from past mistakes.  Instead she was basically creating the problem as Drunk Snooki completely overtook Snooki.  Actually, now that I think of it, Drunk Snook is just Snooki… it would be Sober Snooki overtaking Snooki, if that ever happened.  But seriously, what a lunatic.  She belongs in the basement, good luck climbing out of it.

Jersey Shore Power Rankings; Season 5, Week 1

It’s baaaaaaack.  Jersey Shore debuted it’s fifth season last night and the return to Seaside, and if the full season previews show you anything, we are obviously in for the typical obnoxiousness.  I personally was not too psyched for the return of the show, as deep down I am rooting for this to be the final season.  But the pure insanity is back and that of course means the Power Rankings return with it.  Let’s see what we got to kick off season 5.

1) Pauly D (Last Season: 1)
There was an emergency!  Pauly D needed his tan.  Much like the rest of the cast, Pauly D was totally pumped to be back in the States, and their Seaside house.  He did kick his summer off with hooking up with Ryder, which he will not be faulted for.  He took the sloppy seconds joke in stride and did what he had to/wanted to do.  He overall brought the good sense of energy to the house, and was trying to be a bit of help when Vinny was going through his depression… I think that’s fair to say.  But back in the US, back in Jersey, Pauly D did his thing and forever will be the best cast member on this show.

2) Ronnie (Last Season: 3)
So wait… is Ronnie now like the voice of reason on the show?  Things have changed a bit for Ronnie based on his previous seasons.  For starters I don’t think there was a single Ron/Sam argument in this episode. WHAT?!  And then he didn’t even really say anything to be an issue when he was stuck with rooming with Sitch again.  And then he was also trying to be some help to Vinny, and I kind of agree with what he said in regards to Vinny in his talking head segment.  He basically said Vinny is 24 and needs to man up.  Come on kid!  But overall I thought Ronnie had a great first episode considering his track record.

3) Vinny (Last Season: 1)
Poor Vinny.  You gotta feel a little bad for the kid.  We always knew Vinny was very tight with his family, and that was only proven when he was in tears over the fact that they were all there for the homecoming party.  So yeah, he’s going through some stuff and definitely is in a rut being totally home sick.  We now know it will lead to him leaving the Shore house, but what the future holds we can’t be too sure.  I do think he’s letting it get to him too much.  He was getting snippy and was really just letting it get to him too much as time went on.

4) JWoww (Last Season: 4)
We just know she will be involved in plenty of Snooki drama this season.  And it seems like even some of her own.  So maybe the old, total bitch, JWoww will make a return, but for now I can’t really discredit her, so will keep her right where I left her after Italy.  For now she’s the most real out the girls currently on the show

5) Sammi (Last Season: 5)
It’s still hard to give Sammi a ton of credit, on anything, but as mentioned for Ron there was no fight, and yes that is a total shock.  I did think he describing of The Situation with his friend, interestingly enough called The Unit, and there actions together, was a little funny, and fairly accurate.  But you know when thinking back to all of Sam’s past on this show, it’s hard to hear her speak and not be somewhat annoyed.  It’s like bad flashbacks.

6) The Situation (Last Season: 8)
The bad guy, huh?  Sure, we could expect a ton of antics from Sitch this season, how could we not?  But he was kind of laying his ground work it felt in episode 1.  And for the first time with the whole Snooki mess he didn’t seem like the liar, and to be honest he seemed somewhat steady.  He’s still the instigator and will indeed be the bad guy, just watch.  But nothing terribly wrong with his debut, you just know there’s something there.

7) Deena (Last Season: 6)
She is annoying, can’t deny that.  I feel like very often Deena just kinda drifts in the background in some episodes, and then something dumb happens her.  The perfect proof in last night’s episode was her just awkwardly (and emphasize the AWKWARD) sitting at the end of Pauly D’s bed as he was laying with Ryder.  I mean, we get it was bothering her, but that was a weird act.  And then we didn’t really experience any crazy Deena moments while they were out, I’m sure that trend will change soon.

8) Snooki (Last Season: 7)
She’s the worst.  Aside from basically putting Jionni in situations where he should feel like a total douche (because of her past) but she officially seems guilty over the whole SItuation drama that was sparked in Italy.  As bad as Sitch is, she is equally right there with him and seemed worse this time.  She also still can’t hide her bad side when drunk.  So yeah, Snooki sucks, all 98 pounds of her.  Also her chugging down pickle juice was a negative point for her this time around.